- Support Cannibalism-EAT ME!
- God is my copilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
- I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
- I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
- Keep honking while I reload.
- Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
- Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an
- amusement park.
- EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
- Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
- If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
- Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
- Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
- Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
- Just say no! To sex with pro-lifers.
- My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her. . .or something like that.
- Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
- If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
- Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
- I got a gun for my wife....Best trade I ever made.
- So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
- I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- All men are idiots....I married their king.
- The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
- IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
- Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
- Keep honking...I'm reloading.
- Prevent inbreeding...Ban country music.
- As long as their are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- WARNING: The driver only carries $20.00 in Ammunition.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- Montana: At least the cows are sane.
- God must love stupid people...He made SO many
- I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen.
- Your kid may be an honor student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.
- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS
- Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- Where there's a will...I want to be on it.
- It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
- WARNING: Dates on the calendar are closer than they appear.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
- ELVIS IS DEAD...And I don't feel so good myself.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry...Then things get worse.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working on subatomic particles.
- 3 kinds of people, Those who count, and those who can't.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
One star shines a bright light....and several make a mighty galaxy!
